It has probably happened to you to get an email saying, “This is a gentle reminder” and to inwardly wince at the wording. Something seemed off—unpleasantly so—about the adjective "gentle" here. Why?

Email has been fraught since the earliest, perhaps darkest, days of the pandemic. First came the loaded “I hope this finds you well” (sometimes punctuated with the caveat: “as well as possible!”).